All Inclusive SEX

I have been very fascinated by our conversations this week in class, perhaps, particularly because I have worked a lot on sex positivity at the Gender and Sexuality here. Our philosophy at the GSC is that if more people start feeling more comfortable being in their bodies as sexual beings, if they are able to talk about their desires and fantasies, if they can voice those ‘taboo’ thoughts, sexual violence, or at least the type of sexual violence we see at Carleton most often, will cease. However, over the past year of working on ending sexual violence by continually talking about sex, I’ve come to realize that sex is one of the most heterocentrist topics that I’ve come across. Even among people who claim to be great allies, they really can’t get past the penis-vagina image of sex. Which makes me think that a sexual revolution is just what we need. In many ways, that one guy from Stonewall was right: being gay isn’t just about the sex. But, then again, I would venture to say that a lot of homophobia is. It’s about a man doing to another man what he should only do to a woman, or a woman getting something from another woman that she should only be able to get from a man. So, yes, it’s about gender and gender roles, it’s about power and powerlessness, but it’s also about the sex. So, I say bring on the sex radicals, bring on the sexual revolution.
Although I can’t claim that making sex more inclusive will end homophobia or normalize homosexuality, I do think normalizing other definitions of sex, or at least ending our society’s obsession with vaginal intercourse as the end-all be-all of sexual relations. Luckily, there are a few people working towards this end as well. The presentation we had last year, “I love the female orgasm” by a couple of ‘sex connoisseurs’ not only empowered women, but also helped to expand the definition of sex. Similarly, sex toy shops like the Smitten Kitten in Minneapolis, or Good Vibrations in San Francisco and Berkeley, serve both women and men with the express purpose of empowering people as sexual beings. And we at the GSC are doing our part by sponsoring Sex Toys 101, a presentation on sex toys presented by the Smitten Kitten, at least every year (shameless plug: Tuesday, October 23rd, at 8 in WA House (Berg House)).
It is my conviction that once we begin to view sex—all types of sex—as normal and healthy, the world will be a much better place.